The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard Movie Review

I sleep better at night knowing that we live in a world where Ryan Reynolds is never unemployed. A world where Salma Hayek can drop more f-bombs than Samuel L. Jackson and a world where a film with this many holes in its plot, staging, and dialogue can be saved by plugging in established personas.

Reprising his role as Deadpool, oops I mean Michael Bryce, the bodyguard from the first film of the franchise, Reynolds gets to revisit a character he knows oh so well. The wisecracks are familiar territory and the script throws him a lot of easy-to-hit pitches. Jackson is well Jackson but Hayek really gets to raise her game in regards to her PPM (profanities per minute).

 

 

The trio gets to engage in all kinds of mischief while they work to save the European Union from the clutches of Aristotle Papadopolous (Antonio Banderas). AP is attempting to elevate Greece back to its former world glory by bringing about the financial collapse of the EU. It’s like Puss N Boots with a machete, machine gun, and less subtlety.

This is not to say that the work is completely devoid of laughter, it connects from time to time but it just feels so safe. When a film like this that tries so hard to be edgy and just falls into route characterisation, it just feels like a missed opportunity. The saving grace is it does keep Reynolds gainfully employed so the world can still enjoy that magnetic smile.
Rob Hudson
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